Time For Reconciliation Is Now.....
I could not help this past week feel a tugging on my heart towards the suffering of so many families in America. Truth being told however, many of the problems that America suffers is self-inflicted. I know that what I just commented here is not at all popular but I have written about similar beliefs and the fact of truth of this issue in the past. In this week's article however, I will address and comment more specific to the dilemmas of families and personal-marital relationships-marriages.
I believe it was no coincidence that recently there have been not only an influx of reports on the demise of the American family but also the progression of failed marriage relationships turned violent. The violence is only the consequence of America's continued failure to look honestly at what the American family has evolved into, which in all honesty is a that likened to a selfish, spoiled child who is in their age span of a two year-old having temper tantrums. I know that some of you may feel like in my comment in my previous paragraph, that what I am sharing may be a bit over dramatizing in what many American's have become, but again if we are all honest, what I am sharing here surely reflects what it is I am stating is true.
Marriage relationships in America currently fails at the rate of 2 of every 3 marriages. This means for every 3 marriages, two will “dissolve” into divorce. This is not only sad, it is also quite devastating upon people's lives personally, on families and most of all upon children of the divorced couples if there are any. The negative consequences of so many divorced has not even come full circle yet in American society and yet we see the on-going negative physical, mental/emotional, financial(the divorce lawyers and judges are the only ones making profit) and spiritual consequences everywhere in our society today. Just looking at the emotional toll to Americans-according to the National Comorbidity Survey (NCS) of the early 1990's “ The surveys estimate that during a 1-year period, 22 to 23 percent of the U.S. adult population—or 44 million people—have diagnosable mental health disorders...( http://www.surgeongeneral.gov/library/mentalhealth/chapter2/sec2_1.html ). Surely this being year 2011, those being diagnosed with mental health issues have increased, not gone downward in America. We can say “thanks” to the increase in those numbers due to our behavior and attitudes towards one another, especially in the self-centerdness “department” so to speak.
There is only one solution to reverse the current dilemma and sufferings we see in America... that is to reconcile one another in and through Christ. The plain and simple truth is that we can no longer afford to do life our own way. Use of psychology and especially the wide use of psychotropic medications has failed. We can also acknowledge if we are being truthful here, that we are reaping a harvest full of unnecessary pain and suffering by refusing to acknowledge what is the root cause of our failed relationships. If only we could see past ourselves and our own selfish desires. The Cross of Christ is what is needed in America today- not $200 per hour psycho-bable. There upon that cross, Jesus Himself suffered, died for the remission of our sins. Yes, He took upon Himself the full weight of the punishment for our sinful lives. His was an act of selflessness, love, looking at the future and what we could become rather than focusing on the choice of selfishness and Himself. The work of Jesus upon that Cross was done so that we could avoid being sent to hell. We have that same choice you know, that is to be selfless rather than selfish with the motivation of love.
Such love should be the attitude of every man and women out there in their marriage. Husbands are directed in Ephesians Chapter 5 verses 25-27 “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.” Wives in verses 22-24 are also directed; “ Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the Saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. “ The current rate of divorce shows nothing in the way of love or following Biblical examples of selflessness. In fact, I dare to say most Americans have no idea what love really is. American's have become so self absorbed in themselves, they have forgotten what true love is all about.
We above all, should be peacemakers in our own homes. Families in the USA are to often riddled with chaos and violence. We are focused on things rather than one another. Materialism is just one of the side issues here but I do have to ask you; do you really think our nations economy, our children's SAT scores and the like are just coincidences ? No my friends, there is a lack of Biblical wisdom and application of healthy values in our families today. Learning not only to be a peacemaker in one's family is important but also how to reconcile to God and one another is vitally important to the survival of the American family. For those who are unaware, reconciliation involves two important factors on everyone's part; that is forgiveness and restoration. I know for many it is difficult to forgive your partner or ex spouse but you must do it. Please notice, I did not say to forget, I said forgive and there is a difference. Forgiveness involves letting go of what a person did to you while maintaining healthy personal boundaries to prevent being hurt once again. Also, restoration means an active participation and (beyond surface)involvement in reconciliation. The drive to do so is always Christ centered and “we” centered, it is never-“me “ centered. If you cannot get past “me” there will never be reconciliation and feelings of betrayal and hurt. So to those who want peace, if you are the one who is the “offender” or the one who sought a divorce, you need to initiate asking for forgiveness and reconciliation. In fact, if your ex-spouse is still unmarried, go and do whatever is necessary to see that marriage restored. Again, you are responsible and need to be the initiator of what is nothing short of being selfless.
Lastly, I want to give you a link here to a very recent article that all should read. It should inspire you...It is of an elderly married couple that died within hours of one another holding hands. This sort of love at one point in our nation's history was not so uncommon in America. Perhaps, and if this applies to you.. if you are willing to stop being selfish, your marriage will be reconciled and end as beautiful as theirs....
Pastor Paul Waldmiller~"Black Robe Regiment Pastor"